Being the wife of a police officer is really hard. Police have a 75% divorce rate-way above the national average. Don't try to do it on your own. Whether you're just dating or been married twenty years, you need support and you need a good therapist.
Living in a police family is difficult. There is a huge amount of stress on the family and spouses, and of a kind that's hard for outsiders to understand. The family revolves around his constantly changing schedule, communication breaks down, the officer suffers from compassion fatigue and can't understand why his five year old is fussing over a scraped knee or his wife is angry that he was late...again.
He deals with trauma, danger and violence constantly and has to stuff his feelings in order to do his job. This stuffing leads to him becoming numb or too angry and frustrated to show his wife the love she desires.
The police wife becomes resentful and stops giving him the respect he needs.
Anger cascades into resentment, isolation and frustration.
However, the life of a police family is full of benefits. It is exciting. Police wives and children of police become independent and strong-willed, while also learning the benefits of obedience. I remember a home video of the tsunamis in Malaysia. A police family was on the beach when the ocean receded, a classic sign of an oncoming tsunami. The officer father recognized the signs and commanded his children (both somewhere around 6 or 7 years old) to run. The children up to this point were having a great time playing on the beach and any typical child would have whined and asked why or begged for five more minutes. Not the children of a cop. These kids turned and ran without asking why. The family made it to a second story balcony seconds before the wave swept through.
There are many positives to being married to or the child of a police officer, but it's also really, really difficult. It's necessary to learn how to adjust to the police life, how to keep the lines of communication open, how to be independent and strong-willed and how to handle an independent and strong-willed family. It may seem overwhelming, but it can be done. You need support and you need skills. Learn what it takes to make it work.